DAY 174: THE MEETING

I had my first "meeting" regarding my new career path as a writer yesterday, and it ended as all inaugural meetings should:  in tears. Going into the meeting, it was my intention to be a confident, savvy, well spoken, well dressed, 30-year-old.  Full of big ideas, and radiating the promise of a bright future as an aspiring American writer. What actually happened was an impromptu therapy session where I drudged up old emotions about my former career, and wore clothes that were entirely too tight for the daytime.

I thought that all this writing had cleansed me of the five stages of grief I experienced after quitting my job last year.  I truly believed I had reached a place of acceptance about not working for Barack, Michelle, or any of the other newly crowned kings of the current Democratic reign.  But, it turns out that writing is in fact not the same as talking, and the second I had the chance to open my mouth, the waterworks ensued.

Fortunately, the kind hearted soul I met with, quietly handed me a box of tissues and patiently let me fumble over my words and emotions, until I regained an awkward handle over my too tight dress, and smeared mascara.  Needless to say, I don't know if the meeting was a smashing success, but it was a step.  My feelings may still be unresolved about the years I dedicated to a career that was ultimately not a right fit, but in my effort to change direction, I have to be OK with failing.  A lot.  If I am not failing from time to time (or often for that matter), it means I am not trying, and that would truly be something to cry about.

I remain truly yours, Milagros

174 Days Down, 191 to go.

Comments

[Noury]

You have a gift to make me laugh, even when you are describing what are supposed to be sad or awkward moments. You are moving in the direction of your dreams, and that's what matters. At least you give people something to talk about. Keep on rolling.

[Melanie]

Milagros,

My dad always said he admired the path of a businessman who had fallen into bankruptcy a couple of times, then the guy who played it safe, because in order to be really successful, you have to take risks. When I think about the people that I admire the most, they are those people who went out a limb and did something really unthinkable or scary. We always hear stories about people who take the road less traveled at the end of their journey, but this blog is about the story along the way. You will come out of this triumphant, maybe not in 191 days...but eventually.

On the too tight dress, I feel you. I've been doing Exercise TV for the last four days.

[christine]

Wow! It is hard to put our hearts on the line sometimes. Thanks for sharing your bravery and angst. Good luck. Hugs!

[Dorsey]

I blame Cheryl. Her kids too.

[Emily H.]

Hey M... keep up the good work! We're all cheering you on!
(((HUGS))) and love!

[Michelle]

You haven't failed...you've changed directions and you are learning. You're awesome, and courageous, so be encouraged! Failure is never taking the leap of faith to follow your heart and change direction. Success is relishing in this life moment, and growing every step (or day, in your case :) along the way. The too tight dress comment did make me smile. I've been known to make the same "mistake" a time or two, and I chalk it up to feeling myself a little too much when I was getting dressed...which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm sure you looked beautiful.

[Kym]

Just remember to breathe! We are thinking of you!

[Jasmin]

You are that confident 30 year old that you think you are! You've just got to make sure you take it with you where ever you go (the true accessory). I know Tom Hanks proferred that there "is no crying in baseball" but considering how passionate you are about writing and it is art and art evoke emotions - I think tears (when shed perhaps behind close doors:) are MORE than justified.

So excited about your path and what lies ahead. There is no map for success!

[Victoria]

You know my usual comments for you... keep going, you can do it. But mostly, you can't quit because then who am I gonna look to for inspiration as I struggle to write my plays and books? lol

Who did you meet with exactly, if you don't mind me asking?

-Victoria D.